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It’s up to you, but you can look up up, or read on

Maybe Charlie Brown said it best: “I hate spelling errors. You mix up just two letters and your post is urined.” Thanks to “M” for passing along this funny take on “what’s up.” “There’s a little word in the English language that has more meanings than any other two letter word and that is “up.” […]

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Letter to the Editor

I read Edward Gibbon’s excellent history, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, early on in my life, and perhaps, should read it again in light of our own modern history. I doubt many others have read it, or even know anything about the Roman Empire, because of the current level of educational proficiency […]

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“Chris Columbus, when’s my wedding anniversary?”

The more things change the more they stay the same. How so? Well here’s the 2015 version of what momma used to tell us kids. “It’s all fun and games until someone takes a video!” I loved the good ole days when all I stood to lose was an eye. We used to tell our […]

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$100-million verses a mustard seed of faith

According to a recent story by CNN’s Heather Kelly, “the search for intelligent life in the universe is getting an injection of resources, brains and money from Silicon Valley.” The shot givers include tech investor Yuri Milner, physicist Stephen Hawking and astrophysicist and cosmologist Lord Martin Rees. Yuri? Don’t know him. I don’t know Rees […]

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“Y’all Stank Conniption,” the perfect shower sinkhole

I’m writing a movie script for a sequel to the “Shawshank Redemption,” which was the prison movie about an innocent man escaping from prison in Maine after 20 years of being beaten and black-mailed into helping a corrupt prison warden laundry hundreds of thousands of dollars from kick-backs and free prison labor. The 1994 “Shawshank […]

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Scooby-Doo, where are you–and the car

Last Tuesday morning I was surprised to hear the Today Show promoting a concert on the plaza that morning featuring hit singer “Shaggy.” “Scooby-Doo, where are you?” I shouted. Like Shaggy, I didn’t even know you sang man. I was expecting Shaggy, you know, the tall, slender, sandy-blonde haired slacker, owner and  best friend of […]

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That’s why Howie won’t shake hands with a gun

For years now, health officials have been warning about the dangers of too much sun when tanning. A woman in Spokane County Washington recently was actually indoors when her desire for a tan turned hazardous. Seems she was on a tanning bed, listening to the Ohio Players’s 1975 number one Billboard hit “Fire,” when she […]

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My new diet’s got me barking up the right tree

Jim Croce is one of my favorite singer/songwriters. I was thinking about my “mind decline” and laughed remembering one of his songs, “Time in a Bottle,” from 1972. Songs have a lot of memories, but they sometimes also take on new meanings. “If I could save time in a bottle, I’d just forget where I […]

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Young Prince George wins Scrabble championship

Let’s see, the Royal Baby George was born on July 22 and weighed in at $12.99–the British conversion from eight pounds 6 ounces. I got some inside information from Hobb Nob, life-long butler at the palace, who tipped me off that the baby’s great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, actually played a part in the baby’s birth. […]

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There’s lots going on, a great problem to have

We’ve had lots of great things happening lately in our town that should make us proud and we have even more coming up. In June, it was announced that the Pontotoc Main Street Association won two awards from the Mississippi Main Street Association. On July 4, we had a great day of celebrating beginning with […]

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Eat the fish, but don’t drink the water

I remember my daddy’s reaction years ago when someone mentioned buying a bottle of water. “Who would be crazy enough to buy a bottle of water? he asked. Knowing that my dad’s generation is one of the smartest, most innovative, hardest working and disciplined to ever walk this planet, I still think my dad was […]

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Remember to honor all our local heroes

My column for this week started out as me going to how I had a bad day last week and how I tried to find the good in it. But then I spent the day at the Pontotoc Lake on the 4th of July.  It was wonderful.  The park was packed with families and friends […]

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‘Who took the filter off the Booger Monster?’

David Helms Pontotoc Progress These days I’m seeing lots of folks that just had babies and lots of women that are expecting a bundle of joy just anytime. The folks “across the pond” in Great Britain are anticipating the birth of a royal baby to Dutchess Kate and Prince William. Kate and William’s “baby Brit,” […]

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I need my mama and she knows it

My mom dropped me off to meet some friends last week and then picked me back up a couple of days later.  Her remark when picking me up was “I feel like I have dropped you off and picked you up after a week at church camp like I used to have to do.” I […]

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