Archive | Opinion RSS feed for this section

“Y’all Stank Conniption,” the perfect shower sinkhole

I’m writing a movie script for a sequel to the “Shawshank Redemption,” which was the prison movie about an innocent man escaping from prison in Maine after 20 years of being beaten and black-mailed into helping a corrupt prison warden laundry hundreds of thousands of dollars from kick-backs and free prison labor. The 1994 “Shawshank […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

Scooby-Doo, where are you–and the car

Last Tuesday morning I was surprised to hear the Today Show promoting a concert on the plaza that morning featuring hit singer “Shaggy.” “Scooby-Doo, where are you?” I shouted. Like Shaggy, I didn’t even know you sang man. I was expecting Shaggy, you know, the tall, slender, sandy-blonde haired slacker, owner and  best friend of […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

That’s why Howie won’t shake hands with a gun

For years now, health officials have been warning about the dangers of too much sun when tanning. A woman in Spokane County Washington recently was actually indoors when her desire for a tan turned hazardous. Seems she was on a tanning bed, listening to the Ohio Players’s 1975 number one Billboard hit “Fire,” when she […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

My new diet’s got me barking up the right tree

Jim Croce is one of my favorite singer/songwriters. I was thinking about my “mind decline” and laughed remembering one of his songs, “Time in a Bottle,” from 1972. Songs have a lot of memories, but they sometimes also take on new meanings. “If I could save time in a bottle, I’d just forget where I […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

Young Prince George wins Scrabble championship

Let’s see, the Royal Baby George was born on July 22 and weighed in at $12.99–the British conversion from eight pounds 6 ounces. I got some inside information from Hobb Nob, life-long butler at the palace, who tipped me off that the baby’s great-grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, actually played a part in the baby’s birth. […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

There’s lots going on, a great problem to have

We’ve had lots of great things happening lately in our town that should make us proud and we have even more coming up. In June, it was announced that the Pontotoc Main Street Association won two awards from the Mississippi Main Street Association. On July 4, we had a great day of celebrating beginning with […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

Eat the fish, but don’t drink the water

I remember my daddy’s reaction years ago when someone mentioned buying a bottle of water. “Who would be crazy enough to buy a bottle of water? he asked. Knowing that my dad’s generation is one of the smartest, most innovative, hardest working and disciplined to ever walk this planet, I still think my dad was […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

Remember to honor all our local heroes

My column for this week started out as me going to how I had a bad day last week and how I tried to find the good in it. But then I spent the day at the Pontotoc Lake on the 4th of July.  It was wonderful.  The park was packed with families and friends […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 1 }

‘Who took the filter off the Booger Monster?’

David Helms Pontotoc Progress These days I’m seeing lots of folks that just had babies and lots of women that are expecting a bundle of joy just anytime. The folks “across the pond” in Great Britain are anticipating the birth of a royal baby to Dutchess Kate and Prince William. Kate and William’s “baby Brit,” […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

I need my mama and she knows it

My mom dropped me off to meet some friends last week and then picked me back up a couple of days later.  Her remark when picking me up was “I feel like I have dropped you off and picked you up after a week at church camp like I used to have to do.” I […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

‘Don’t ask questions, just run!’

One man saw another carrying a snake inside a pair of panty  hose. “What kind of snake is it?” he asked. “A garter snake,” the other fellow replied, laughing. Ok, that’s about as funny as I can get about snakes. However I did enjoy my conversation last year with Bill Warren, a delightful and brave […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

Childhood dreams can still come true

One of my favorite movie quotes of all times is “When you’re young, you imagine your whole life, and it never occurs to you that it won’t turn out that way.” I think of this quote often when I think about where I am today compared to where I thought I’d be. Growing up I […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

Criticism can make you stronger than ever!

Why do we let things hurt our feelings? Why do we jump on the defense when someone criticizes our work or our decisions or anything that we’ve worked hard to accomplish? Last week I had a bad day.  I was sad, mad, upset, defensive, fed up and overall hurt.  I was venting to someone about […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

G.A.T.O.R.S. chomping for hunting season

The Mississippi Department of G.A.T.O.R.S. announced this week it will issue 920 lottery based permits for seven hunting zones for the 2013 human hunting season. The 10-day season will run from August 30 to September 9, duplicating the Mississippi Department of Wildlife, Fisheries and Parks 2013 alligator hunting season. The Mississippi Department of G.A.T.O.R.S., GATORS […]

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }