Take it from Chicken Little, “waing it”

I hadn’t heard such screaming and hollering since I came home early from playing golf one day and surprised Janet in the kitchen.
No wait. I was the one that was scared and carrying on.
I’d never seen her in the kitchen before.
But there it was on all the news channels last Thursday.
A panic-stricken Chicken Little was running down Bourbon Street in New Orleans shouting, “The supply is falling, the supply is falling!”
Chicken Little, looking more like a biggie-sized Turkey Lurkey, had been in the headlines only last year after admitting on the Oprah Winfrey Show that he’d been lying for years and was indeed high on CGH (chicken growth hormones) and steroids during that whole “sky falling” thing.
With several feathers obviously plucked and his graying comb parted on the wrong side, a tearful Chicken Little told a salivating Oprah that it was only after hearing his little boy, Chicken Finger, defend his honor to friends that he decided to come clean.
Amid threats of being “battered,” subsequent appearances on the Rachel Ray Show and Paula Dean were cancelled.
Chicken’s agent denied allegations that Little was scared that Paula’s diet might not be sticking.
But there he was last Thursday in New Orleans, the site of next weekend’s Super Bowl, shouting at the top of his lungs, “the supply is falling.”
(Seems it actually took a couple of hours for Chicken Little to garner any attention. Apparently even a screaming chicken doesn’t automatically attract a crowd on Bourbon Street.)
Actually there may be just an ounce of truth to Chicken Little’s forewarning this time.
With just a few days to go before the big game, football fans may find “chicken wings,” a favorite Super Bowl snack, a bit harder to find.
The National Chicken Council released a report last week that said the demand for wings this year is at “an all-time high” due to decreased wing production caused by the high cost of corn and feed prices.
Ain’t that just our Ducky Lucky!
Even if the cries of “supply is falling” proves exaggerated, the rising price of chicken wings is too true.
Wings are currently the highest priced portion of a chicken and cost $2.11 a pound in the Northeast, up 12 percent from last year.
The Chicken Council has lowered the estimated number of wings to be consumed during Super Bowl weekend to 1.23 BILLION wing segments, 12.3 million less than last year.
Some football fans say they’ll just “wing it,” but for sure Americans are serious about their chicken wings.
The Chicken Council told Fox News that if those 1.23-billion chicken wings were laid end to end, they would stretch between San Francisco and Baltimore 27 times.
Some folks are blaming the wing shortage on “doomsday preppers.”
Paula Dean said that reasoning “was finger-lickin’ stupid.”
“I’ve had a million wings in my storm house freezer for years and there’s never been a problem,” Dean said.
The White House followed suit, quickly distancing itself from any chicken wing shortage this coming weekend.
“I didn’t even have any wings at the inauguration luncheon,” President Obama said. “Check out (Rep. John) Boehner though, Michelle said that gift crystal they gave us has got some BBQ prints on it.”
Secretary of State Clinton said any knowledge of a chicken wing shortage was erased by her concussion.
“I don’t remember Chicken Little, Henny Penny or Billy Willy,” Clinton remarked.
Listen folks, I’m just saying I tried to warn you last year about the Hostess company going under.
“My kingdom for a loaf of fresh Wonder Bread!”
We bailed out Wall Street and they’re still enjoying million dollar bonuses.
But you can’t find one pack of Hostess Chocolate Cupcakes or Twinkies.
Maybe Chicken Little was right the first time.
The sky is falling.
We’ll have to wait and see about the chicken wing shortage.
Maybe my ole pal Goosey Loosey sums it up best.
“As long as it’s a chicken wing shortage and not a shortage of phenergan, we’re alright.”